I’ve been avoiding making this post for sometime now. Because I hate the cliches associated with it. And once you post it people always think you’re dopey, corny, pining, angry, etc. I promise I’m none of those things. This is just something that’s been on my heart, and hopefully it’ll touch the right people at the right time. So, here it goes:
It’s everywhere. At least the idea of it is anyway. Turn on the radio, read a book, even look at your tumblr dashboard and you’ll see it.
And of course television. There’s even a very interesting episode of How Television Ruined Your Life dedicated to the topic (which I really recommend watching. It brings the LOLZ).
And there are many types of love: Eros, Philia, Storge, and of course Agape.
But with so much time and thought and energy dedicated to love, do we really allow ourselves to do it? You know, to love?
There are so many issues when it comes to love. Especially when it comes to women. From a campy Cathy cartoon special in the 80s to the totally addictive Sex and the City in the 90s and it’s offspring now, we’re bombarded with the image of women and their dealings with men. So much so, that it appears that’s all we talk and think about. That they are our soul motivation behind eveything.
And don’t even get started on Black women. Our love lives (or lack there of) are everywhere. Like, everywhere. No, seriously you guys. EVERYWHERE. We have been told that we are all man-less and we will never not be man-less and it will never change until we sort out all the issues that we, as black women all collectively have. We are all too bossy/controlling/independent(which is not even a negative attribute)/angry/emasculating/etc. It’s gotten so bad that we’re starting to actually believe it ourselves.
Even those of us as young as in our early 20s are freaking out about being single. Despite that fact that we, you know, ARE IN OUR EARLY TWENTIES and should be more concerned with finishing up our degrees and getting jobs and knowing who we are than who we’ll spend the rest of our lives with. It’s like Sarah Baartman all over again. Only instead of our backsides on display, it’s our love lives.
And black women – ALL women – deserve better than that.
We deserve the opportunity to love freely. And to love on our own time, not when other people designate us to. We’re not automatically “lonely” and “bitter” if we’re not one half of a couple.
All I’m saying is we’ll all fall in love when we’re supposed to if we’re supposed to. And in the mean time there is nothing love with finding love in other things. Like your friends or your mom or your major or your hobbies.
You. Yes you out there in Internetland. You are awesome. And not being with someone at the moment doesn’t make you any less awesome.
And don’t neglect that the most important relationship you have while searching for another. The one you have with yourself.
by: Jonquilyn Hill